I Pledge My Heart

I have been involved in 4-H all my life. Seriously! My investment started in this organization started when I was a baby in Fairview, Oklahoma. My mom was the Major County Cooperative Extension agent in the mid 1970s. A group of county agents got together to throw a baby shower when Mom was pregnant with me. She sometimes took me 4-H or Extension Homemakers meetings she would attend as part of her job.

Later, mom taught home economics (that’s what it was called then, so don’t nag me for using an old term), and by default, she was the Carmen-Dacoma 4-H Club Leader. I thought those big kids were so cool in their Kelly-green t-shirts with giant four leaf clovers on them, and I longed for the day I could join too and show a lamb.

In the summer of 1985, we started with our first flock of show lambs. We aren’t very creative, so the lambs were named for the people that raised them: Joe (Hise), Les (McNalley), and Pete (Ward). I loved my lambs, except Pete. Pete was dumb and mean, and he dragged me through a sticker patch. As much as I loved that first group of lambs, I fell in love with all the other activities in 4-H.

I cooked, I sewed, I played the piano, I sang, I gave a speech. Mom had to fight me on doing that first speech – I didn’t want to get up in front of people and have them laugh at me. But moms know what they’re doing, and after I got through the first fears of public speaking, it got easier every time. As a club, we contributed to the community – we sang at the nursing home, built floats for the parade, and we painted the town fire hydrants (Dad had a pickup that still had globs of red paint all over it when he traded it in years later). I quickly realized the sheep were a lot of work, and pigs were so much easier, so my lamb project morphed into pigs. Through all of it, this program was molding me into a confident public speaker, a seamstress, a cook, a show jock, and a friend.

There were so many “big kids” that I looked up to: Tiara and Tiffany Leslie, Jan Webster, Tonya Lemmon, and several others in Woods County. One of the older members in our county went on the Citizenship Washington Focus trip, and as she told me about that trip, I knew I had to go as soon as I was old enough. There was a problem when I became eligible to go, though – no one in Woods County wanted to go with me. But I wanted to see our nation’s capitol so badly, I put on my brave face and signed up for the 1992 trip without knowing anyone that was going.

At 4-H Roundup that year, a few weeks before the DC trip, I was in an etiquette workshop. The presenter asked, “Is anyone going on the 4-H trip to Washington?” A pretty blonde girl raised her hand, we smiled and waved at each other. At the end of the workshop, she came up to me with the thickest southern accent I think I have ever heard and said, “Hi, I’m Cara Bigger. I’m from Marshall County. I’m glad we got to meet before we go on the trip .”

I was so relieved when I loaded that bus to Washington, and there was Cara. It was almost a Forrest and Jenny moment (You can sit here if you want). I immediately latched on to her, and the rest is history. My 4-H friend quickly became one of my best friends. Also on that bus was an energetic, magnetic boy who became best friends with everyone on the bus. Enter Shannon Ferrell, Roger Mills County.

That trip and Bus #2 changed my life. I made fast friends and learned about so many other opportunities through this great organization. I quickly decided I wanted to be a state record book winner and go to National 4-H Congress in Chicago, we learned about scholarships, and various college opportunities. Nearly everyone on the bus said they wanted to go to Oklahoma State. Decision made: I was going to OSU, too. As it turned out, a lot of people on that trip actually did enroll at OSU.

Cara and I remained besties, we were state winners and went to Chicago together, then we were roomies our freshman year at OSU. We stayed friends, Cara married Shannon Ferrell from Roger Mills County, and our boys are a year apart in school.

Both of us are a testament for the power of 4-H. The program instills so many essential skills – public speaking, confidence, responsibility, writing, critical thinking, and above all, friendship. I attribute Oklahoma 4-H for many of the successes I have been fortunate to have today.

For My Community

When my son was about to turn eight, I began the search for a 4-H club for him to join. There wasn’t a club in the Lubbock school district. I could have taken him to one of the other clubs in the county, but I didn’t really want to drive that far. Something nagged at me to create a club, but I didn’t feel like I had the time. I texted Cara and told her to talk me out of creating a 4-H club. With 20 seconds my phone was ringing.

“You need to do this,” Cara said, more firmly than I have ever heard her speak before, and her accent has since waned.

“No way. I don’t have time for this. I probably should, I just don’t want to,” I whined.

“No, you do this. Nobody has time. But people our age don’t have time for anything, and this is a problem in our Sunday schools, scouts, and especially 4-H. You don’t have time to do it, but if you don’t make the time, nobody else is going to do it. Step up and do it,” she said.

Dang! But those were the words of support I needed to move forward and create a club. I had such a great experience in 4-H, it developed me far more than any other activity I did, so I insist my son participate. Again, the essential skills and the friends that a kid makes in this program are so important.

These skills lead to jobs. And if you’re really good, they can lead to a job that helps get other people find a job. That’s what happened for Cara. She was the assistant director of career services at OSU for several years before she had her little boy. She’s an expert in job and internship readiness, which is why I chose her to kick off Season 2 of my podcast, “So You Talk to Cows.” Cara shares her expertise in getting a job or internship, then being a good employee once someone gets that job. Have a listen. She provides excellent wisdom and advice.

And yes, Cara does talk to cows daily. Her son is now showing Hereford cattle, just like she did. Fun fact – Cara was the Oklahoma Hereford Queen in the mid 1990s.

Follow her lead, y’all. Share your expertise. Create opportunities for your child and other kiddos. Help others succeed. Make the best better.🍀