I’ll preface by saying that I am an emotionally charged mama bear, filled with anger, and I have not taken a moment to cool off. I have not conducted research, nor have I done a literature review – these are my reactions to my kid’s emotions.

I wish you could have seen my son last night, a ball of nerves so worked up about the STAAR test today that he threw up twice (and I won’t be surprised if he does it again today during his test). You should have seen him this morning as he tried to calm his anxiety about this test that you have forced upon little kids. I wish you could have been there to assure him that he can, in fact, eat the pancakes that my husband got up early to make, but he was too queasy to do so. I wish you could sit with him and try to explain to him why he must take these tests, because I don’t have a good answer for him.

I get that you need a measure of performance for students, teachers, and schools, but do you really have to put it on the backs of young kids in a high stress environment like this? Surely you can trust a teacher’s judgment to know if a kid is meeting expectations and is ready to move up. Instead, you, the legislature has placed pressure on the Texas Education Agency, which puts financial pressure on our school boards, which puts pressure on our principals, which puts pressure on our teachers. Essentially, you’re saying you know better, and you can’t trust a teacher and principal’s judgment. You claim to be smart, and your voters elected you to do right by our kids. So be smart and come up with something better.

I would like for you try to explain to a nervous 10-year-old that his test score is one simple unit of measure to determine if he can be promoted to 5^th grade. I promise you, dear legislator, he doesn’t believe me nor his teachers when we try to assure him over and over that a poor test score means certain failure. And telling him that if he doesn’t do well, he can retake the test does not soothe him. How would you feel if someone told you that to make up a poor score, you had to sit for another four hours in a sterile room to take another nerve-wracking test? No matter my assurances, he and his friends truly believe that a poor test score equates a repeated year in 4^th grade.

Does it matter to you that he hates school? I know every parent says this, but my kid is truly smart. He got a master score on the STAAR test last year, so he’s plenty capable of doing well on this test. He’s curious about so many things, but the only thing the State of Texas cares about is making sure 4^th graders meet the mark for math and reading. These stupid tests stifle the teachers’ ability to allow him to expand upon his love of history, science, engineering, and other little topics that spark his interests. Instead, they place so much emphasis on the test, and he feels like that’s the only thing important in school. He loves learning, yet he hates school. This is not the teachers’ nor the school’s fault. This is the fault of the State of Texas.

Does it matter to you that my kid and his friends absolutely love their teacher? Does it matter to you that she stays late two days a week to tutor them and help them master the areas where they struggle? No. All that matters is that stupid test score. He thinks that his teacher will get fired if he and his classmates don’t perform. Let me be clear – she does not tell the kids this. Somehow, they have picked up on some insinuation that if they don’t do well, she could lose her job. I don’t know if this is true or not, but how dare you put that guilt on a small kid!

Do you care that his school keeps him safe, has zero tolerance for bullies, and makes him feel loved? Doesn’t that count for something? He learns Spanish at his school, but his Spanish language skills took a back burner because the focus turned to taking your stupid test. I would much rather he be fluent in another language and understand other cultures than do well on a standardized test. I’m not slamming his school here. I love his school, the principal, administrative assistants, teachers, and other staff. They work hard to ensure my kid has a great learning experience, but sometimes their hands are tied because of the State of Texas.

Does it matter to you that these kids are so conditioned to taking this test that as young adults they want to know exactly what to do, how to do it, and get anxious when creativity is suggested? These tests have pushed all the creative thinking and critical problem solving out of our young people’s heads. These tests have created problems far beyond the vomit stain on my carpet, and we’re seeing it in college classrooms and with young people in the workforce.

So as you’re campaigning for the next election, think about my smart, curious, capable 10-year-old boy that you have driven to barf because he’s so nervous about your test. Meanwhile, I’ll be looking for a carpet cleaning service because the last thing he ingested was red Crystal Lite and beef jerky, so now my flooring has a pink hue with light, smoky aroma.  🤢